This is my eras tour

I've had a lot of hair colors

As I write this, it’s 1 AM, and I’m sitting on the floor of my apartment, surrounded by photos of myself with drastically different hair colors over the last decade. With my supremely talented hair colorist Emaly Baum, I’ve dyed my hair dark brown, lighter brown with balayage, blonde, platinum blonde, extremely platinum blonde, copper, and now red. And then once blue-black with hair colorist Jade Hartley in London. Staring at the photos side-by-side, it is actually wild to see how drastically different each color looks on me—I mean, I don’t even understand how my hair lifted to such a pristine platinum. But despite all the dramatic changes, different at-home toning products, and all the times friends didn’t recognize me when I tapped them on the shoulder on the street, I somehow always felt completely like myself throughout it all. There’s an old joke that a woman experimenting with her hair is a woman in crisis. But for some reason, it’s always felt like the opposite for me.

I wrote an article for Vogue about my most recent hair switch-up and how it symbolized a new chapter and liberating departure from the bridal beauty expectations. This got me thinking about all the other times I’d dyed my hair and what exactly each color meant to me, if anything at all. Was I just being fun and impulsive? Was I trying to “say” something? Could each color have signified something happening in my life? So today, we’re embarking on what I’m bravely calling my Eras Tour—a trip down memory lane (and potentially a psychological excavation!) via my hair.

Just a baby era

This is me at age twenty-two with my totally natural, virgin hair, cut into a short bob. When I look back at photos from this time, I can’t actually believe how soft and shiny my hair was. TBH, I’m always sort of coveting the way my hair felt at this time—but I just can’t seem to get it back to this level of health, even when I’ve let all the bleach grow out and given it a big chop. But alas—this era I find quite sweet and wholesome. I was a little baby, fresh out of college, moving to New York City with a fuck ass bob and a dream.

I mean business era

At this point, I had already been writing my column at The Strategist for just a little under a year. Even though quite literally no one asked me to dye my hair blonde, this particular hair transformation was really a gesture to my editors that I meant business—that I’d do just about anything for the sake of Beauty Journalism. And I know that sounds sort of ridiculous, but I wasn’t wrong—it did mark a shift in my career. I was no longer pigeonholed to skincare dupes and lengthy routines, I was someone who would stop at nothing to test and try things out in order to create new and exciting articles for my column. It ultimately opened up the door to play with all different kinds of categories within the industry and kind of made my column what it is today.

Color chameleon era

This is when I decided I was really going to lean into my role as a beauty extremist. I wanted to keep people on their toes. As someone now frequently consulted for major color transformations, I often hear that big changes can leave people feeling disconnected from their own appearance—almost like they're wearing a wig—or that their reflection in the mirror is unfamiliar and unsettling. But I’d never felt that as a blonde, and I think I was just kind of curious if it would happen with red. Plus, from the get-go, Emaly had told me she thought red hues would suit me because of my virgin hair’s natural warm undertones. This copper I just loved. The only issue is that because it was dyed over double-processed blonde hair, I felt like it never stayed that bright and would so quickly fade to a sort of gingerbread-y color. Also, as my hair started to grow out, it started to get a bit ombre looking, which I remember not liking at the time, but in retrospect looks really cool. I also dyed my eyebrows for the full ginger-redhead effect.

I can be normal too era

I remember some snarky colleague saying that my frequent hair switch-ups seemed "manic," and for some reason this really affected me. So I immediately booked an appointment with Emaly to take me back to brown. I vividly remember saying to her that I wanted to look “adult” and "pretty" and really feeling in my soul that this was the end of the era. I was all of twenty-five and officially grown up, leaving my childish impulsivity behind.

Gnawing at the bars of my enclosure era

And then…covid happened. I was locked in the house, looking a mess for too long.. you guys know, you were there. I felt literally desperate to get out of the house and try beauty treatments again. So as soon as stay-at-home mandates were lifted, I knew I wanted to do something drastic that would make me feel inspired, after writing about at-home facials and manicures for months. I remember kicking my feet and giggling at the salon, thrilled to be back in Emaly’s chair, as I sat there for hours. I absolutely loved this color—it was less platinum and a bit more honey-ish and lived in. If you’re wondering how my hair was able to withstand two cycles of going from brunette to blonde, there was about a year and a half in between both these blonde eras, and in the interim I cut my hair into a really short, ear-length bob.

I’m a published author era

The release of my book Let’s Face It: Secrets of a Skincare Obsessive is to this day, one of the most special moments of my life. I had worked so hard during quarantine to make this book perfect, and I was so excited to share it with the world. The launch of this book required lots of on-camera interviews and (trigger warning) IG Lives, so I wanted to go for a color that frankly made me feel beautiful and confident on camera. This is when we really took the platinum platinum. The thing about having hair this bright is it kind of functions like a natural ring light, so I felt like my skin looked so glowy in all the interviews and photos I took. I also decided to lighten my brows a bit, so there was a softness and cohesiveness to it all. I remember feeling like a little fairy. Despite absolutely loving this hair color, it was just so extremely intense to upkeep—I was at the salon every four weeks—but I do remember being devastated to leave it behind when the time came. Style wise, I also really leaned into a sort of sixties mod aesthetic during this time in my life, and it just worked so well with the bright blonde.

London era

I didn’t really want to go back to brown, but I was moving to London and was genuinely nervous that anyone besides Emaly would ruin my hair trying to upkeep this platinum color. I’m not even going to lie, my return to dark brown was a major adjustment for me. I don’t know why, but I just did not feel pretty for months. I eventually came around, but this was the first time I’d ever experienced that who-is-that-in-the-mirror thing, even though it was quite literally a return to my natural hair color.

Sad girl era

Girl..lol. This is why it’s important to ask myself “what I was trying to say through these hair transformations?” Because of course, during one of the most violent depressive episodes of my entire life I decided to dye my hair this extreme inky black. Literally one of the blackest blacks it could get. I actually do like it in retrospect, but I think the main issue is, when you live in London, you become the palest possible version of yourself . Like, a level of pale you didn’t even know was possible for your skin. You can see in this photo I’m really overdoing the blush to compensate. I remember already feeling so pasty and sickly looking (on top of just being generally miserable), and the intense contrast of my hair wasn’t helpful. I think if it had been summer and I had a bit of a tan, I would have actually really loved it but, but in the dark depths of a UK February, I felt like every dark mark and under-eye bag was doubly extreme.

Red (Rio’s Version)

In regards to this being my “post-wedding hair”, most of what I have to say is really in this Vogue article. But interestingly, when I first dyed my hair this color, I met up with a friend for lunch. When she was hugging me hello, she pointed at my hair and, with a warm smile, said, “You’re back!” It was almost like hair transformations were so deeply intertwined with my personality, that seeing me experiment with colors again signaled that I was doing well—the departure from my natural hair color was somehow a return to myself. And that’s honestly real. At the risk of sounding so overly sentiment, this color really does feel like the marking of a new chapter and the end of one that I’m so beyond ready to leave in the past.