I'm not crying on my birthday

My guide to avoiding the birthday blues

Once the New Year starts, we’re forced back to work feeling slightly hungover (from both alcohol and the general high of the holidays), seasonally depressed, and strapped for cash. But as a January Capricorn, the spookiest part of the New Year is without a doubt my fear of the birthday blues— an annual occurrence thanks to my silly little brain, exacerbated by the assumption that no one is interested or in the mood to celebrate after a month filled with intense festivities.

In the past I’d cry or sulk most of the day, attend a birthday dinner with friends that’d essentially restore my will to live, then do it all over again the following year.

@mostderangeddaries

But a couple of birthdays ago, as I de-puffed my undereyes with cold spoons, I decided this was the last time. I needed a few things: more therapy probably but also a rulebook to follow every birthday that’d help me enjoy the day as best as possible and ward off the melancholy. And after trying it out for a few years, I can confidently say these tips really help.

Take the day off work

Obvious and self explanatory but if you can, please do. No matter how much you love your job, your office doesn’t deserve you on your birthday.

Follow the sunshine and/or touch grass

If you live somewhere with hardcore seasons, being in sunshine is always helpful—I’m from California, so I retreat to Los Angeles where the weather is at worst a little chilly, but always warmer than where I’m living. But fleeing to hotter climates isn’t necessary: I’ve done this exact routine in a Hudson Valley snow storm, a 17 °F day in Brooklyn, and a grey, dreary Monday in London. You really can make a good birthday happen anywhere.

Whether or not you’re stuck in the cold, if it’s possible, I recommend spending at least one hour outside, ideally somewhere beautiful with lots of foliage, like your favorite park. In 2021, I celebrated on a freezing day in Manhattan by throwing on every warm layer I had, taking the subway to 110th street, and walking around the very top of Central Park, which was a part of the park I’d never really explored before. After that, I cruised down to the Upper East Side and rewarded myself with a gin martini at Bemelmans Bar, which was fabulous.

Wake up early

If your birthday is in the winter, you run the risk of the day getting dark quickly, so I suggest getting out of bed as early as you possibly can. For me, that’s usually around 6:30—it’s still dark outside, but it’s nice to experience every minute of daylight once the sun rises. Don’t get me wrong, I love to sleep in, but only having a couple of hours of daylight on your birthday is depressing stuff.

It’s a special occasion so dress like it