How I make my period less miserable

With tips from corporate women and friends with terrible cramps.

Right before a big meeting at a new job, where we were all supposed to go around the table and pitch ideas to our boss, I got my period. I’ll spare you details of the flow itself, but trust me, it was harrowing. I found myself sitting in the bathroom stall, about fifteen minutes before it was my turn to present, holding back tears and focusing on slow, deep breaths to manage the pain. For reasons I can’t explain, Midol wasn’t cutting it, so I spent the entire meeting writhing around uncomfortably in my chair, trying to find a relief in the stiff denim pants I never would have worn had I known my period was going to arrive three days early. Despite the agony, I still got through the meeting (some of my ideas were even received well), all while feeling like my insides were being squeezed and hammered.

Going about your day while trying to ignore the excruciating pulsing and twisting in your lower abdomen (which, if you don’t know, simultaneously feels like the throbbing ache of a bruise and the sharp, searing pain of an open wound in your ovaries), is standard for most people who menstruate. I remember in seventh grade, when most of us started getting our periods, it was normal for girls to drop like flies throughout a school day—you’d see them holding their stomachs, curled up on the thin picnic benches outside, waiting for their moms to come collect them early from school. But by tenth grade, this stopped. By fifteen, most of us were on birth control for pain management (insane!), and as classes got more serious in preparation for college admissions, the administration was definitely not bending attendance rules on account of “bad periods”. The only way you’d know a girl in your class was battling the demons of her menstrual cycle would be an occasional wince and shift in her position. We were all hardened as fuck because we had to be.

A few months ago I asked my friend if she wanted to get dinner on Friday. She replied, “I’m getting my period this weekend. Can we do next?” There was no part of me that found this even remotely unreasonable, I’m all too familiar with what it’s like to agree to plans and spend the whole time uncomfortable, cranky, and counting down the minutes until you can go home and lie in bed. But I wondered why her honoring the potential pain of an upcoming period felt radical, especially when we're brutally reminded every month just how bad it can be. Life is unpredictable but my period is not—in fact it’s reliably agonizing. But we’ve all become so used to dismissing such intense levels of pain, that it almost feels unnatural to give ourselves permission to plan for it and manage it properly.

That conversation with my friend shifted something in me. I suddenly felt compelled not only to start approaching my periods with more intention, but also to reach out to other friends and ask whether they had any routines or rituals they rely on, both in the days leading up to their period and during those first few days of bleeding. Up until then, I’d been treating my period like a minor inconvenience, like a headache I could just medicate and push through. But the truth is, even when the actual cramps aren’t at their worst (though they usually are, regardless of medication), I’m still feeling the impact, especially emotionally. I mean, I’m always joking that the surest sign my period is coming is if I suddenly feel hopeless and burst into tears for no reason. And is that not grounds enough to be nicer to myself?

So today, I want to take you through my period rituals—the things I eat, drink, do, and wear to get through it. I also talked to some friends and asked them to share their go-to tips and must haves for surviving the worst of it. Right now, I have more flexibility in my schedule since I’m no longer working a traditional nine-to-five, but I’ve been there, so I also reached out to several of my corporate friends to hear how they manage when taking a day off isn’t an option.

We’re all adults here, and we’re going to be discussing periods openly. I’ve deliberately chosen not to use euphemisms like “down there,” “unmentionables,” or “lady parts” because I find that kind of language both condescending and counterproductive. I think it kind of reinforces the idea that these topics are shameful or inappropriate, which can end up genuinely stifling honest communication! When we’re all trying so hard to avoid sounding “gross” we risk diluting the valuable, practical information we’re trying to share. So we’re not doing that today, mmk?

Getting everything you need in advance

I circled back with the friend who inspired this whole exploration and asked her more about how preparation plays a part in her cycle. Her periods have been pretty bad for most of her life, but things got significantly worse after she went off birth control a few years back—that’s when things starting getting borderline intolerable. Because she often feels practically immobile once her period starts, she emphasized how essential it is to prep her home and medicine cabinet in advance. The goal is to avoid having to crawl out of bed for any last minute CVS or Target runs when she already feels like death—especially since she’s worried about passing out from pain (which has actually happened before—scary!!!) while driving. Another smart option is setting up an automatic monthly delivery, so everything you need just shows up.

I’ve been talking with a lot of friends about how I always feel perpetually underprepared for my period, and one pal who has endometriosis offered an interesting perspective: sometimes preparing in advance can actually make the anxiety worse, especially when you know your periods are going to be intensely painful. The anticipation of that pain looming can be scary. In a way, it seems easier to ignore it entirely and deal with it when it happens, rather than spend too much time thinking about it in advance. But considering this is something many of us experience so regularly for much of our lives, doesn’t it make sense to approach it with more intention? Maybe it’s worth shifting our focus toward actually giving our aching, writhing bodies what they need, with a sense of care and maybe even a bit of ritual. Reframing it this way can turn an inevitably awful experience into something a little more manageable, or at the very least, something we meet with more compassion. And let’s be serious here: there’s obviously something inherently patriarchal about the way we’re encouraged to downplay or dismiss our periods, as if they’re inconvenient or embarrassing rather than the most natural, recurring parts of our lives. So… not on my watch!

Managing the pain

Aleve as the go-to painkiller for periods.
Nearly everyone I’ve talked to who has periods intense enough to see a doctor has mentioned that Aleve is their go-to pain reliever. A few even said their doctors recommended it specifically because, unlike other options, it’s particularly effective at reducing the inflammation that triggers menstrual cramps. Some were also told that Advil and Tylenol just don’t cut it as much for this. Who knew!

Plug-in heating pads for when you are in day one hell.
Hear ye, hear ye! If you’re someone who suffers from period cramps, I need you to stop what you're doing right now and get yourself a heating pad. I’m so serious. Hot water bottles are great, but they eventually cool off (I find this happens rather quickly). Heating pads, on the other hand, stay cozy and toasty as long as you need them..just make sure you turn them off when you’re done. They’re truly life changing. For those who didn’t know, heat works wonders for period pain by relaxing your muscles, improving blood flow, and soothing those intense, throbbing aches. So it’s not just about comfort, it’s about taking the edge off that horrific cramping. This is the only thing that gets me through long work days when I’m combatting cramps, it’s practically glued to my stomach the first few days of my cycle. Because heating pads are so effective at relieving the pain, I’m actually able to sit at my desk and get work done with one on my stomach, instead of just curled up on the couch miserable.

Warmies for nighttime cuddles.
These might not be quite as practical as regular heating pads, but they’re ridiculously cute. These are plushies you can pop in the microwave to heat up, and some even have a light lavender scent. They’re perfect for cuddling at night, especially if the thought of sleeping with an electric heating pad kind of freaks you out. And this Snoopy one..omg.

Stick-on heating pads for the corporate girlies.
Two of my best friends work in super corporate settings with very important, high-pressure jobs, and both said their secret to surviving those brutal first couple days of their period at work comes down to two things. First, staying on top of tracking their cycle (as best as you can, I know this isn’t an option for everyone) so they can try to avoid scheduling big meetings or presentations on those days. And second, using these stick-on, disposable heating pads that stay hidden under basically any t-shirt or sweater. They warm up on their own once exposed to air and provide soothing heat for several hours, making them perfect for discreet relief during a long workday. They also swore by closing your office door (should you have one) and writhing around on the floor.

Me and my beloved heating pad <3

The best comfy clothing to wear